permafrost waiting to thaw

Okay, people are finally asking “Is She here yet.” That’s only annoying because of course I want her here more than everyone else and of course I will let everyone know asap.

Getting closer to “due” date (guess date) is harder by the day- we all thought whe might be here already with all of the contracting, cramping and dilating. But no, she is more slowly slithering her way out.

I  feel like a boring blob with no brain and no value incapable of any communication or action. Since my pubic bone has split in the middle causing a lot of pain with movement, especially walking, I am bed bound part of each day. All I do is have escapist fantasies about either becoming some kind of fasionista with a job after the baby or becoming a homesteader on my little farm teaching Iris how to raise heirloom tomatoes. I know that these two are contradictory images, but either one works for me right now. I am bored out of my mind, wishing I at least had more energy or less pain, so that I could just nest and clean more. I promise I will at least get out into the sun today. Though I have no idea what to do once I’m out there.


About mooreamalatt

Find my whole bio here:!about/cktc
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